Sometimes I wonder what drives people. What gets them out of bed in the morning, motivates them to work or support a cause or just get on with it and serve the needs of their family? What do they want out of life?
When I see political ads, I want to clear away all the rhetoric and mud-slinging and ask each candidate what it is that they really want. I hope they don’t want their time in office to be characterized by what they said about their opponents. I hope they want to seek the good of all people. What will drive them if they get elected?
I read a phrase some years back by a writer named Johnny Sears. He said that “Jesus lived open to receive whatever life offered while remaining faithful to what love required, even when that meant not resisting his arrest and execution.”[1]
“Open to receive whatever life offered,” and “faithful to what love required.” Those words seemed to sing to me, and I have been striving to follow their wisdom ever since. It is what subconsciously gets me out of bed in the morning, because I have embraced its truth as a guide for my life. It is a touchstone especially when I am discouraged or confused or angry. I often ask myself, “How can I be open to this situation and what it can teach me? What does love require at this time?”
There have been plenty of times when I have not followed that guideline. But when I do, I find that I can ask God to help me see what is needed in the moment. And even when the lesson is not clear, I can ask what love can do.
Love can always listen. It can be curious about what is driving someone to say something nasty to me or treat me disrespectfully. It can restrain me from saying something when my wisdom is not adequate for the situation. In fact I think restraint is the most difficult response, a real growing edge for me. When I am able to keep my mouth shut, I can usually tell very soon that it was the best path to take at the time.
For some reason we think we always need to respond to people’s bad behavior. We don’t. We can simply let them deal with what happens and be ready to listen when they have more sense to talk about it rationally. Or not. Maybe it is someone else’s role to be the advisor or the listener. I can trust God to help me and help them, separately, if we are open to it.
Emotions are running high during this election season. That does not mean we need to jump into the fray and get riled up too. I know that we need to act and speak up when the time is right, but perhaps we need to step back and ask what is most effective for each of us during each moment. What does love require right now?
Maybe it would be good for all of us to go back to Proverbs 15 in order to do what love requires:
A soft answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger.
2 The tongue of the wise adorns knowledge,
but the mouths of fools pour out folly.
3 The eyes of the Lord are in every place,
keeping watch on the evil and the good.
4 A gentle tongue is a tree of life,
but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.
[1] Johnny Sears. “Befriending Insecurity” in Weavings, Vol XXXII #1, p. 42.
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